What Support Really Looks Like for Someone With an Eating Disorder During the Holidays

The Holidays Can Be Harder Than They Look

For many people, the festive season is associated with joy, togetherness and celebration. However, for someone living with an eating disorder (ED), this time of year can feel overwhelming, triggering and emotionally exhausting.

Festive periods often centre around food, social gatherings, comments about bodies or eating, and unspoken expectations to “just enjoy yourself”. While usually well-intentioned, these dynamics can leave someone with an ED feeling pressured or misunderstood.

Support during the holidays does not mean fixing, forcing or monitoring — it means empathy, understanding and respect.

What Support Doesn’t Look Like

Before exploring what is helpful, it’s important to recognise what can unintentionally cause harm:

• Commenting on how much or how little someone is eating

• Pressuring them to “just try a bit” or “enjoy the food”

• Making jokes about dieting, weight gain or “working it off later”

• Monitoring or policing their eating

• Assuming that recovery means the eating disorder is no longer present

Even seemingly casual comments can increase feelings of guilt, fear or shame — particularly during an already challenging time.

What Support Really Looks Like

1. Respecting Boundaries

Support means accepting and respecting a person’s boundaries around food, gatherings or conversations — without taking it personally.

This might include:

• Accepting a “no” without pushing for explanations

• Allowing them to leave early if things become overwhelming

• Avoiding repeated questions that create pressure

Boundaries are not rejection — they are a form of self-care.

2. Keeping Food Neutral

One of the most supportive things you can do is to remove judgement from food.

Try to avoid:

• Labelling food as “good”, “bad”, “naughty” or “a treat”

• Talking about calories, weight or compensatory behaviours

Instead:

• Treat food as morally neutral

• Allow meals to be about connection, not control

3. Offering Emotional Support — Not Control

Support does not mean supervising or monitoring eating behaviours.

Helpful support might sound like:

• “I’m here if things feel difficult.”

• “You don’t have to go through this on your own.”

• “Let me know how I can support you today.”

Listening and validating emotions is far more helpful than trying to fix the situation.

4. Remembering That Recovery Is Not Linear

The festive season can intensify eating disorder thoughts — even for those well into recovery. Struggling does not mean failure. A difficult day does not undo progress. Recovery is ongoing, and compassion and patience are essential.

5. Being Mindful of Conversations

Festive gatherings often involve diet talk or comments about appearance, which can be particularly triggering.

You can help by:

• Gently changing the subject if diet or weight is discussed

• Avoiding comments about anyone’s body or eating habits

• Modelling respectful, non-judgemental language

  
  

Creating a safer environment benefits everyone present.

If You’re Supporting Someone With an Eating Disorder This Festive Season

You do not need to have the perfect response.You do not need to fully understand their experience.

What matters most is:

• Being present

• Showing kindness

• Being open to learning

  
  

Sometimes, the most meaningful support is allowing someone to be exactly where they are — without pressure to feel festive, positive or “better”.

A Gentle Reminder

If you are struggling with an eating disorder during the festive season:You are not a burden. You are not ruining anything. You are allowed to prioritise your wellbeing — even during celebrations. Support is available. You deserve care and understanding.