Festive Eating vs. Disordered Eating: Understanding the Difference

Why the Festive Season Can Be Challenging

The festive season is often portrayed as a time of indulgence, family gatherings and celebration. For many, it is a joyful period full of shared meals, treats and traditions. Yet for people with a history of disordered eating, holidays can bring anxiety, guilt or increased preoccupation with food. Social expectations, family pressures and the abundance of celebratory food can feel overwhelming, making it harder to maintain a sense of balance.

It is important to recognise that struggling during this period does not mean recovery has failed. The environment itself can be triggering, and acknowledging this is an essential part of self-compassion and mental health care.

Understanding Festive Eating

Festive eating is a natural part of celebrations. It involves flexibility, enjoyment and balance. Meals may be larger or include more treats than usual, but there is room for choice and moderation. There is no overwhelming guilt, fear or compulsive behaviour. Importantly, festive eating allows people to enjoy food without rigid rules, acknowledging that indulgence is part of the social and cultural experience.

In recovery, festive eating may look different from year to year. Some days might be more challenging than others, but the focus is on participating in ways that feel safe and manageable. Celebratory meals can be enjoyed without the need for perfection or self-criticism.

What Disordered Eating Looks Like

Disordered eating, by contrast, is characterised by behaviours and thoughts that are distressing or harmful. This can include strict food restriction, bingeing, purging, compulsive exercise, or excessive anxiety around eating. During the festive season, these behaviours may intensify due to social pressure, comments about food or body image, and the disruption of routines.

Unlike festive eating, disordered eating often feels difficult to control, and it interferes with wellbeing rather than supporting it. It is also often accompanied by guilt, shame, or fear, which can make the festive period emotionally exhausting.

Recognising Triggers During the Holidays

Family gatherings and social events often centre around food, which can make boundaries feel hard to maintain. Comments about what someone is eating, portion sizes or body appearance can be triggering. Even well-meaning suggestions to “just enjoy it” or “have a little treat” may provoke anxiety in someone in recovery.

Identifying potential triggers in advance and creating strategies to manage them can make a significant difference. This might involve setting personal boundaries, planning supportive exits from stressful situations, or discussing concerns with a trusted friend or family member.

Supporting Recovery Over the Festive Season

Recovery and festive enjoyment can coexist. Participating in meals or celebrations does not mean abandoning recovery; it means approaching these experiences with intention, self-compassion and awareness. Techniques that can help include focusing on connection rather than consumption, reminding yourself that all food is neutral, and giving yourself permission to step away from situations that feel overwhelming.

For those supporting someone with an eating disorder, understanding the difference between festive eating and disordered eating is key. Avoid making comments about food, portions, or body shape. Instead, provide a safe environment, listen without judgement, and respect boundaries. This supportive approach reduces stress and helps maintain recovery during the holidays.

Redefining Joy and Balance

The festive season does not have to be stressful, even in recovery. Joy can be found in simple, meaningful ways — a calm morning, a quiet conversation, or the comfort of spending time with safe and understanding people. Learning to celebrate in a way that feels authentic, rather than pressured, is central to maintaining wellbeing.

Festive eating is about enjoyment and connection. Disordered eating is about restriction, compulsion and distress. Recognising the difference, setting boundaries, and practising self-compassion can make the holidays a time of connection, not guilt, even for those navigating recovery.